September 19, 2020 at 04:17PM

Hi! Long time no post. I assume some of you know what happened in July but if you don't: I was in a bike accident & hit my head. I'll pin a few storie...


Hi! Long time no post. I assume some of you know what happened in July but if you don't: I was in a bike accident & hit my head. I'll pin a few stories about what happened to my story highlights. 🧠 • Damaging your brain is a very eye-opening experience. You realize how fragile it is, & at the same time how incredibly resilient it is too, how stubborn it is & how it can cling desperately to unhealthy patterns, but how easy it can change if you use the right tools. • It feels like I've learned more about myself in these months than in my whole life. Maybe it's from the vulnerability of not having a fully functioning brain, maybe it's the long hours spent in darkness & silence with just my thoughts, maybe it's the long hours of meditation, maybe I just shook some stuff around. Probably a little bit of everything. Either way, the hardest lesson was that I realized that I've put my whole sense of identity & worth on being quick (quick learner, quick-moving, quick thinking etc) & being in control. But suddenly I lost both, it felt like I was moving in water, everything distorted & slow, & I got smacked right in the face with a very simple & obvious, but still very hard truth: I can't control anything & I never could. It was never going to get me what I was looking for. Change doesn't come from control, comfort doesn't come from control, happiness doesn't come from control. The only thing I can truly have an effect on is how I respond to life instead of just reacting to it. I can actually chose to feel content, calm, happy. I don't need to wait for it, there won't be any outer circumstances that will bring me happiness, I can just give it to myself right now. So I did. And it's a weird thing to say, but I'm happier now than I've ever been in my entire life... • I still have a lot of recovery to do. I will post as often as my brain allows, maybe not day-long painting sessions yet but I'll be back full speed at some point & I have a few posts I made pre brain injury. • But anyway, hi again! How have your past few months been? 🖤




Hi! Long time no post. I assume some of you know what happened in July but if you don't: I was in a bike accident & hit my head. I'll pin a few storie...

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